take things in. stay up late. go visit your friend when youre super tired & sleep later. embrace and give everything you have with pure sincerity because its worth it & will come back to you. endure being in & out of your comfort zone all day everyday. every day we are forced to see something sad, or smile.. or tell someone no.. but its all in the way that you do it by being honest to yourself. we can take things in and choose to how to view them and what to do with it. its your life, you can do anything you want with it, so live it.. not how anyone tells you to. just do what makes you happy in the moment & it all comes together later. i used to over think everything, but i've slowed that down. the california heat is keeping me in water or next to the air conditioner inside. thats all i do lately, with or without people. water & cold air. breathe breathe breathe. i can't wait for fall, heavy coats, scarves, cold noses, talking and making white fog in the air. so crisp and clean its hard to take it in at first, fall come home. i miss you. my mom is moving to san diego, i'm happy for her. she deserves it. i'm going to miss them more than they know.. but in the big picture its good for everyone. i can stay here and work towards places i want to visit and live, and they will live where they always wanted to. i'm proud of you mom. my granma on my dads side just battled cancer, it was scary at first. i couldnt bare the thought of loosing someone else close to me this year. quiet & unsettling, but she got through it[: so so happy. for her and my family. dreaming so much lately. that rem sleep, where you wake up.. still tired. melatonin doesnt cut it either, or chamomile, or home remedies. just good old fashioned real sleep. for once in my life, i wish i didnt dream.. for a whole week even!haha i'm listening to yoshimi battles the pink robots part one in my headphones and it sounds sooo crazy aah. goals for the week : *get that painting idea out of your head, the one you wrote in your phone under 'saved drafts' *finish up planting & arranging our fall harvest garden *get carrot and beet seeds, plant them! *make a mixed c.d. for this weekends car ride *go on a health kick for fun but i can still have cheeseburgers and fries because who are we really kidding? *write your penpal back *start posting photos on your tumblr again for your little sister *start taking more photos for 'hugging trees' project *have normal sleeping hours
