my cutie boy

my thoughts in a morning shower after a late night rave with my frens

*cold showers are the only way to go in the summer*the lights looked neat going through those trees.the first thing i noticed was that girl to the left of the stage.with a grey t shirt,black leggings and a thin black laced ballerina skirt.just letting all energy out in every which way.a red happy ball of energy was what she was.the water running down my skin reminded me of the way the thin different colour lights,sailed over my arms and frens.shit,i left tarantula at james'..oh wait,he'll enjoy it...i just hope he picks it up.that dj that asked me to be her dancer,next to the stage while she performed..really rocked that pixie cut.that was pretty fucked up that someone stole her makeup.i need to get the canvas out of my trunk for next months gallery.for some reason,ive been taking a massive interest in painting/drawing umbrellas.and i dont know why..i never really use them..guess i just miss the rain..and think they look neat.aw man my toothbrush is in my car.bummer about that bunk roll of film,such good photos..oh well,easy come..~stand for a while~*turn shower off*

this is how i miss you

it was hard to think of you,for a long time.i never got to tell you goodbye.it was easy to remember you,on the good days.i heard you were doing okay.missed you an wanted to talk,but everyone told me it was better to stay away.they never gave me the way to contact you.its been almost five years?i finally got ahold of your email about four weeks ago.i was so eager to write,i didnt for i was just trying to think of the right things to say.that same week you were gone,like a flame in the wind.i always missed you.i never got the chance to tell you how i felt.so im telling you now.i just want you to know that despite all of the bad,i never judged you.when my brother and i would sit on our second story roof to watch the stars..and see you leaving at four am..wondering where you went.the heroin.the lies.those things,i forgave them,i never held them against you,ever.i know of all the things that happened,but i cant seem to put those pieces together with the person i remember..i loved getting out of school to come work at our family store,you and my mom would be there..with pizza for me and ria sometimes.you guys would go home,we would close the store at 8 pm after selling the doctors and nurses the things they needed.i remember so many things.i was getting paperwork from my moms file to renew my drivers license when i saw your death certificate.a water formed my eyes..i couldnt believe it still,the paper read..your name,the place,the cause,the time.i love you.i love you,thats what i wanted to say.i hope you knew that.

vashti day

                                           early morning

                                          midday

                                           evening

two heartbeats, one stream

sunday morning some friends and i suprised him with a trip to six flags for his 21st birthday. after that we traveled to venice. i also got him little instruments we could use next time we go to a drum circle and we walked barefoot. i missed venice so much,we walked along the shops, saw the daily drum circle, joined in..bought someone food and walked through a group of people who seemed like they were on acid. some hippie guy looked and me, smiled, raised his eye brows and said hey. girls put paint on each others faces and sean lost his glasses on a rollercoaster, i made him go on a spin around ride with me,  he almost cried..it was adorable.the weather was beautiful, the day was magical and surreal like a dream. 
 before his birthday we catered his sisters bridal shower and he made everything from scratch.different quiches and different scones and salads and did amazing!
we got into groups for a game and the groups had to choose on person to make a dress out of toilet paper.to my suprise,in my group everyone pointed at me at the same time and we won!  it was funny how ended up a rather pretty dress for the material it was made from. patty called me a mysterious gorgeous little wood nymph and sean kissed me on the cheek. i won gardening supplies amongst bags upon bags of wildflowers, we planted them this morning amongst the garden. monday night on his birthday we celebrated, had tempanyaki for dinner..i got sick from dinner and was throwing up all night :/ but i was happy. he ordered his first drink,it was a japanese version of a long island iced tea and we hung out with our closest friends and (they) had citrus vodka lemonade ha ive been training at work but it was such a pleasure to get off and see him there,with some bubbles for me.i made some tea,he made some coffee and weve been making music and hanging with kevin in the mancave. i also made a tumblr but it seems a little too trendy for me, although i do like the good movie and music blogs ha

 

chirp chirp chirp

on a piano,
 there is a key for every emotion you have. for years i have consistently barricaded myself into any room with a piano for hours upon end,singing real songs or making some up.but today i realized that for me,even just looking at a piano entails such beauty.music and art is another form of communication.its a language that can only come from your soul.


tonight i dabbled a little with some acrylic, i painted this and gave it to a stranger





and still,he picks me a flower almost everyday

postcards from italy

 here's a sequence of some photos circa 2006.my cousin kiana and i took while walking home after school when i was sixteen.
 we lived across the street from each other.its funny,its always been way since we were little.whenever my dad and his sister moved..we.d end up in walking distance from each other.i moved so much & these particular houses were right across the street from our school.if we stayed home or anything we could still hear the bells in the distance,and they were always at a certain time of the day.at first i thought it was annoying,but then it almost became a certain comfort.every day i didnt care what time it was,and you can always feel what time its around.but that never mattered..when the bells rang, you knew it was exactly twelve..lunch…two fourty, schools out then four.after school detention was over.even when something wasnt related to those bells you could still go off of the time.like when the bell rang at four,i knew i had a half an hour before i had to get my stuff together for my pottery club at five o clock.then sometimes a bell would go off at night, we thought it was funny.there was a huge window on the second story across from the staircase and you could see the sky. sometimes id lay upstairs when there was a thunderstorm with a warm cup of tea,wrapped in a big blanket keeping the lightning company.watching the big bolts and the crooked tiny slithers across the night sky.everyday my cousin and i would wake up (sleep over or not) id eat an apple and we.d walk to school together.the morning dew felt so fresh,i always thought she was a cute morning grouch with messy hair & being up early always felt so good.